Bird Flu

I arrived early this morning at the contact centre to discover that a special helpline has been set up for those who might discover dead poultry. Was it called the Bird Flu Helpline? The Avian Flu Hotline? No. The Dead Bird Hotline!

I ask you, create a dedicated team to answer the calls to a Dead Bird Hotline, give the number out to the population of Scotland, and please don't come to me, shocked, when the necrophiliacs of the surrounding area are breathing down your neck.

More from me soon,

Brido